A poem compiled in a span of 65 days, sleepless nights, and depths of sadness and happiness at 2 am. These are random pieces of notes I wrote and made them into one peom explaining the inner dialogue I have with Allah (swt) every time I need to go back to Him. Which is often.
Bismillah Al Rahman Al Rahim
Wa3di Allahi 7aq
Verily his promise is true
She raced to her Lord every month after a time of missing Him;
of being absent of His presence . because she faded from Him,
Of knowing He missed her and loved her too.
All the while Trying to gain His favor while failing.
trying to gain some one else’s smile and laughter for her and no one else
Hasten to your Lord on soft knees,
ask Him anyway, don’t be shy, don’t be shy
Just another night of cold pressed thoughts at the bottom of the ice berg
Resurfacing now matter how hard you try to forget. And you do forget.
You smile a smile that you don’t know why it’s there and can’t resist it’s crevices on your face.
Sometimes happiness is small, it’s a small thing like a the torn mint leaves that cascading into your tea after you’ve already filtered it,
after you said things couldn’t get better but Allah shows you better every day
He shows you the stars that exist millions of miles away
as your self doubt should be
He shows you the trees their roots are unbroken and unshaken
Why can’t I be as strong as Maryam rd. She shook the date palm and let nothing shake her
He shows you mountains that remind us of elderly wisdom , the grandparents of nature
Hasten to your Lord on soft knees, do not be shy
You think He is far but it’s only you that’s far, drifting together like ships in the night
Ask Him with the honest voice of your trembling heart
This is the way the heart works,
Allah swt will test His toughest Warriors with trials upon trials because
He knows you will pass but you don’t
It’s like I committed my heart to hopin’ for you, and ya Allah I feel like I missed out on your promise
Wa3da Allahi 7aq, You promised
She ran to her lord, this time quicker and with a lighter bounce in her step.
This promise isn’t right now, it’s later.
It’s bigger than a pinky..my pinky. This promise only works if you swear that He is one, what a humbling condition for an ungrateful race.
Your promise ya Allah,
My heart beats slowly like a child walking sneakly down the hall
Your promise, keeps me on bended knee
You made room in my heart when I saved a corner for you
You told me it’s okay to love for His sake and save some room for those people anyway
Your promise, is my carpet bound motivation , the only reason I bow with no hesitation
My strength is in I won’t surrender to myself or to the faint whisperer
My strength is knowing He is always with me.
Your promise ya Allah, is what keeps me on bended knee.
I recited this last night at a poetry slam. I’ve never felt so happy and relieved. I would have cried if I was standing, but I sat down and Alhamdulilah Allah has ways of calming our untamed hearts.