Can I ask You?


Can I ask You?
Can I ask you Allah, to hear me on the follow things:

See there are things I just can’t take, but all I do is take from You and here is my gripe 

I want to move like rivers 

I befriend lakes and then I drown  
Told ya so

Crying yourself to sleep is the most hollow pain. 
I can’t take you 

Pain- you ascend like boxer stars all over the place like iridescence – like an illusion I can’t reach an eventually happiness I seek 
It’s there I see it- the light at the end of the whirling tunnel
I can’t take you- pain 

Because you’re so cheap 

You’re so inexpensive 

You have an expiration 
You don’t last forever even if you want to
You’re a part of this sobering dunya 

And I won’t get lost in hopeful naivete 
Because that’s your time to crush me at me most content 
Can I make amends with you Allah,

Can I ask you for forgiveness ?

Can I ask you to help me sew back what you drew?!

Can I ask you to bless my friends? Bless them more than me?

Can I ask you to love me even while our evil embers ?
I ask you Allah to please answer the duaas of the oppressed and those who’ve experienced tholum in this life because no one notices us. 
Allah (swt) will take out every person you loved more than Him because you wouldn’t have made room otherwise.

I can’t watch you break your leg. but I can write about it. Like an “amazing conductor” of healing 

I can take you pain in the depths of the night and say alhamdulilah I got you here instead of under there 
I can say thank you for making me someone who swallows you 

Maybe that shade is mine 
Can I ask you Allah to please relive me of my shyness? Can j ask you to let me see clear blue skies ? I’m forever indebted to you. 
I’m forever indebted to your glistening hijab- an understatement 
Eyes like milk tea 

No not jaded , just Jade I want to afford don’t you? 

Can I ask you Allah to help me get over what’s gone? Why people die and then they’re gone? 

Pain you are not a cliche prick of a thorn you are invisible 

You are hollowing yet humbling at the same time 

You manage to squeeze thro my fingertips 
You manage to defer our hopes with Allah 

But I can take you
Instead I’ll ask you Allah, can I make amends with you? Can know why you gave us heroin purpose? Can I ask you Allah, to keep me humble, even if it means taking everything 
I can’t take you pain- but you’ll be there and so will the One who disposes of you once you’ve served your purpose.