Salam (peace) everyone,
My first real job was working at a University call center that sucked the funds out of tired and bitter alumni. I called their personal cell phone numbers and even landlines. One lesson, and predominately the reason why I quit, was:
Not every job is for you and putting up a false front will not last.
Sometimes the expectations we set for ourselves, or the ones that people set for us are not realistic. As much as you genuinely try, your natural abilities will shine through in other ways, sometimes by accident, and that is okay. I didn’t land the sale after 20 mins of hearing this woman’s life story, and having her cry in my ears. But I was a good listener, and kept honest to my purpose. Advice: Never say you hate your job or it’s “just” your job.
It’s not ME to beg, or ask for money. I don’t know why this was a job I chose to do. My innate abilities were not fit for this and I simply could not hold up the robotic front. It’s just my job, and the people on the other line knew that. But for me to pretend like it wasn’t- was an unrealistic and superficial expectation.
I hate asking for money and always will. I’m that child that prefers to go to school with a granola bar for lunch rather than ask my parents. Even though we are good now, it is the personal shyness and sense of self-providing that I will always have. I am lucky to be in a profession where I am the provider and one who serves. (I couldn’t be a waitress though…that requires a front and a person with Chronic Resting B**** Face cannot do that) (No tips, no money).
Life long learner, life long server.
WordsOverTea 
I love this post, Sarah. I totally relate to not being able to be false to your own identity, and especially specifically not being able to ask people for money for fundraising. Great life lesson.
Very true. I totally relate to that. I would do whatever rather than ask my parents for money.
This is completely true! I don’t know why we try to lie to ourselves that something is actually for us, when it’s not. I can relate to this idea for sure. My first real job after grad school was like this, it wasn’t for me, but it took me 3 years to figure it out. I learned, but it took me 3 years!
This is very true! I was definitely raised to earn and not just receive, and when I worked at this same job I was so frustrated because you have to listen to their stories and how most of them never found jobs after college. Heartbreaking.
What begins as a “false front” sometimes becomes reality. I learned to be far more friendly while waiting tables, and as a teacher who has endured too many parent conferences and Open Houses, this “false” persona has served me well. I completely empathize with your reticence to ask for money! I, too, would rather do without.